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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27652700">Just Hit Send Already</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/celastris/pseuds/celastris'>celastris</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>saionji+wakaba~ (FUTURE AU: I PROMISE THIS IS TASTEFUL SO PLS TRUST THE PROCESS) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A little touch of angst, F/M, Fluff, READ AND YOU"LL UNDERSTAND, all i do is try to make kozue hilarious eat hot chip and lie, kind of comedy, kozue is a loving asshole who swears like a maniac, literally all my utena fics are in my silly little universe 6 years after all the Shit Went Down, my one goal in life is to make saionji likeable i swear he's likeable here, saionji goes to therapy, yknow to add some ~spice~</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:48:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,223</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27652700</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/celastris/pseuds/celastris</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It must have been hundreds of times now that he’d typed out a fairly decent message to her, only to delete it before hitting send. How did he manage to go from a 17-year old cocky piece of shit to this?</p><p>God, he hated when Kozue was right.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Saionji Kyouichi/Shinohara Wakaba</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>saionji+wakaba~ (FUTURE AU: I PROMISE THIS IS TASTEFUL SO PLS TRUST THE PROCESS) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2031082</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Just Hit Send Already</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hopefully you like this fic! personally, my favorite part, (of everything i write really), is every single thing kozue does ever :)</p><p>also again ao3 hates me soooo much so i cant promise the italics actually transferred over lmao</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Dude I’m at the gym, can we <em>please</em> do this later,” Saionji pleaded, wincing as his best friend yelled at him over the phone. He was currently trying to keep track of how many pull-ups he had done while simultaneously listening to Kozue Kaoru screech bloody murder through his earphones, which was not going smoothly. </p><p>“Don’t fucking ‘<em>dude</em>’ me, I am literally going to beat you to death if you don’t DO THIS ALREADY,” she shouted, slamming on what he presumed was some sort of hard surface for emphasis. </p><p>“It isn’t that easy and you <em>know</em> that, Kozue,” Saionji replied, breathing heavily as he tried to continue to multitask, “she probably still hates my guts for…you know,”</p><p>“That was six fucking YEARS AGO MAN,” she chastised, “like listen, I’ll level with you here—Anthy is one thing, she’s a bridge you torched with a military grade flamethrower back at Ohtori. Character development or not, she still 100% should hate your guts, or at least never engage with you closely again,” she took a quick pause to eat what sounded like a chip, and then continue, “and honestly I’d be concerned if she didn’t.” Kozue said this all nonchalantly, as if she was reading off a grocery list. </p><p>“Wow, that’s harsh,” Saionji interjected, before being cut off by Kozue.</p><p>“Shut the fuck up harlot, I am speaking. Anyways, greasy as you are, Wakaba is someone you may have a sliver of a chance with. Sure, you were a dick back at the school when you were fucking <em>sixteen</em>, but it was <em>not</em> Anthy level clown behavior,” she lectured, popping another chip into her mouth. </p><p>“But Koz—” Saionji tried to get a word in again, only to be cut off by Kozue once more, irritated and intent on finishing her rant.</p><p>“Interrupt me one more time and I WILL have sex with your mother. Anyways, you’ve changed a ton as a person and go to <em>therapy</em> and shit and like, aren’t repulsive to be around now, which makes a <em>GINOURMOUS</em> difference, believe it or not,” she shoved a couple more chips in her mouth, voice garbled as she chewed and talked, “and quite frankly, I’m sick of having this same conversation with you every other motherfucking day, so do it pussy. Ask her out. This is peer pressure, text her today or NOONE WILL EVER FIND YOUR BODY,” she threatened, tone returning to the same deafening volume she started with.</p><p>Saionji gave up on trying to keep track of his reps and got off the bar, grabbing his water bottle and decided to call it for the day. He walked back to the locker room to grab his bag, finally able to get a word in with Kozue as he weaved through the machines and equipment across the spacious room. </p><p>“Maybe <em>you</em> should try therapy sometime, hmm?” He sung sarcastically, rather than actually try and defend himself against Kozue’s argument, (which he begrudgingly agreed with completely).</p><p>“Maybe <em>you</em> should try minding your own business, I’m too SEXY FOR THERAPY.” She yelled as a car horn sounded in the background, Kozue shouting out a string of expletives at someone who seemed to have cut her off. Knowing her already questionable driving skills and <em>serious</em> road rage, Saionji convinced her to get off the phone and focus on the road, promising that he would consider what she said. </p><p>“Okay fine, bye loser! But seriously, do it—you miss 100% of the drugs you don’t take!” Kozue chirped, line clicking off before he had the chance to tell her that wasn’t quite how the saying goes. He knew she didn’t have a car, so she must’ve been driving Miki’s Prius. Hopefully she didn’t crash it—that boy was stressed out enough as is.</p><p>Saionji went to get his worn out black gym bag, leaving the locker room once he did. He thanked the woman at the front desk as he left to go to his car, absentmindedly fidgeting with the strap on his bag as he went. Approaching his beat up grey sedan at the far end of the parking lot, he fished his keys out of his pocket, getting in the driver’s seat and tossing his things in the back haphazardly. </p><p>Rather than start the car, he just sat there for a minute, thinking. As much as he hated saying it, Kozue was right for once. He had wanted to try again with Wakaba for years at this point, but just could not bring himself to make an advance with how he treated her back at Ohtori. That was more than six years ago, like Kozue said, and they were all <em>completely</em> different people now, but the pit remained in his stomach. What if she held a grudge? What if he made her uncomfortable, or upset her? </p><p>
  <em>What if she hated his guts?</em>
</p><p>He slumped his head back against the seat and groaned, pulling his phone out of his pocket and entering the passcode before opening the message app. It must have been hundreds of times now that he’d typed out a heartfelt, thought out message to her, only to delete it before hitting send. <em>Alright, time to try this again and pussy out for the 800th time</em>, he thought to himself, typing out yet another message to Wakaba. </p><p>After rewriting his text an unreasonable amount of times, he took a deep breath. Kozue had been right, (at least with her sentiment, sans-drugs), that he wouldn’t get any closure unless he actually took a risk for once. Saionji had never been one to take risks, but after all the work he had spent years doing to change and grow, for his friends and himself, he was still terrified of unintentionally taking advantage of the people he cared about. Was this a result of him completely overcorrecting in the opposite direction emotionally to the point of unfounded paranoia? Maybe, but that was not a problem he planned on dealing with at the moment. </p><p>Regardless, he had hurt Wakaba all those years ago, regardless of whether or not they were just teenagers. They had grown to be somewhat friends these past few years, mostly because of group outings they both regularly attended, and he could never quite get a read on her feelings towards him. She was just as bubbly and sweet to him as everyone else, but that easily could just be a result of her naturally warm disposition in general. </p><p>They were very different people, without question, and someone like Wakaba was the last person you would expect to be Saionji’s type. However, for reasons he hadn’t really worked out yet, he had become enthralled by the chirpy redhead these past few years. From her smile, to her laugh, to her ridiculous sense of humor, to her unconditional kindness and constant positivity, it was just all so fascinating to him.<br/>
While yes, they were adults now, he just could not shake the thought no matter how hard he tried—what if he was too late? What if, somehow, his one chance was back as a <em>fucking teenager</em>, and he managed to ruin it? <em>Ruin it like he ruins everything—</em></p><p>He stopped his mental spiral with a deep breath, taking a moment to ground himself and return to reality. Who would have thought the coping mechanisms they give you in therapy would actually be useful? Wild concept. </p><p>His thoughts back in order, he took one last moment to look the message over, scrunched his eyes shut, and hit send, nerves alight and <em>so very uncomfortable.</em> </p><p>5:50 PM<br/>
<strong>Saionji:</strong> Hey Wakaba, I wanted to ask you something. I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time now, but haven’t been able to get myself to do the actual asking until now. You absolutely do NOT have to say yes if you feel at ALL uncomfortable or uninterested or anything like that, because I would never want you to feel obligated or pressured and all— so yes, long story short, would you be interested in going out sometime?<br/>
<strong>Saionji:</strong> Going out for a date, romantically I mean,<br/>
<strong>Saionji:</strong> Shit wait that was probably implied, pretend I didn’t say that :)</p><p>This was one of those times in life, Saionji thought to himself, mortified, that he despised the lack of ability messaging apps gave you to delete texts you had already sent. He let out another frustrated groan and dropped his head on the steering wheel, causing the horn to go off. He was grateful no one was around as he regained his composure and started the car, putting on his seatbelt and driving home in silence. Despite his efforts to think of literally anything else, he spent the ride anxiously mulling over the definitive fact, or so he had convinced himself, that he had blown his last chance with Wakaba. All he’d had to do was ask her out, plain and simple. Somehow, he had managed to screw up yet another basic fucking task, just like he screwed everything up. </p><p>He pulled into the parking garage by his apartment complex and grabbed his things from the back seat before locking the car. As he walked up the stairs to his floor, he prepared himself for an afternoon of flopping on the couch, staring at the ceiling, and wallowing in self-pity, possibly punctuated by ordering pizza. He continued his aimless train of thought as he unlocked his door and kicked it shut behind him, dropping his things and kicking off his shoes haphazardly. </p><p>He made his way to the couch to, ideally, faceplant into the pillows and scream, only to be met with a text tone coming from his pocket. He pulled it out anxiously, preparing himself for what was hopefully a gentle rejection.</p><p>6:16 PM<br/>
<strong>Wakaba:</strong> absolutely, i would love to! :)<br/>
<strong>Wakaba:</strong> where and when do you want to meet?<br/>
<strong>Wakaba:</strong> sorry for being presumptuous if you haven’t decided yet!! no pressure of course! :))</p><p>Saionji knew 100% that he was going to get some sort of noise complaint from the ungodly screaming he was about to get from Kozue on speakerphone, but didn’t care all too much, grinning ear-to-ear and immediately going to call her.</p><p>He waited a couple seconds before hearing her pick up, knowing her as someone with a reliably fast response time, oddly enough. He made sure she wasn’t driving this time before breaking out into a fit of relieved laughter as he told her about what had gone down.</p><p>“I told you. I fucking told you so, you absolute <em>clown.</em> Now say it,” Kozue yelled, Saionji practically hearing her shit eating grin over the phone. </p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Say it or I’ll tell her about how you intentionally leave your soda out to go flat and warm and nasty before you drink it, or about the the time you managed to trip on your own feet and give yourself a full-on blackout concussion during a Kendo demonstration with a full audience that one time, or those really awful pictures I took of you plastered and crying over 90 Day Fiancé the last time I slept over or—”</p><p>“Fine.” Saionji grumbled into the phone reluctantly, cutting her off before she could keep going, “you told me so, Kozue. Happy now?” </p><p> She was indeed, knowing she would be able to add this to her insult arsenal for weeks to come. After the two exchanged a few more loving insults, he hung up on her, going to respond to Wakaba. </p><p>7:29 PM<br/>
<strong>Saionji:</strong> Don’t worry, you’re fine! Is there anywhere you’d like to go? I’m okay with anything.<br/>
<strong>Saionji:</strong> :) </p><p>Saionji wasn’t sure if the smiley face was over the top, as it was definitely out of character, but he figured it was better safe than sorry. Looking for a distraction while he nervously awaited her response, he got up to make himself some food. </p><p>The fridge was mostly empty, but he had some milk and Cheerios, so that was going to be his gourmet dinner for the evening. Conveniently, he heard another text tone right as he finished pouring out the milk, so he pulled his phone out to see what Wakaba had suggested. </p><p>7:42 PM<br/>
<strong>Wakaba:</strong> okay! i mean there’s this one place near me that’s really nice, it’s a mediterranean cafe/bakery and it’s really good!!<br/>
<strong>Wakaba:</strong> i know that sounds kind of odd— if you have another idea you’d prefer, that’s alright too!!</p><p>Saionji had never actually tried anything mediterranean before, but he rarely found a food he disliked, so he didn’t see it worth mentioning as he responded, still unconsciously grinning like a maniac. </p><p>7:43 PM<br/>
<strong>Saionji:</strong> Nope, that sounds great.<br/>
<strong>Saionji:</strong> Does Friday at 7:00 work for you?<br/>
<strong>Wakaba:</strong> i usually get out of work by 6:00, so that’s perfect!!</p><p>He genuinely could not remember the last time he smiled this much, much less felt <em>giddy</em> about anything. That was the last emotion he ever expected to feel, but there’s a first for everything, apparently. He couldn’t help but run his hands through his hair and stare at his phone, still grinning out of pure disbelief that this was actually happening. <em>Maybe</em>, he thought to himself as he typed out his response to Wakaba, <em>he wasn’t so bad after all</em>. </p><p>7:50 PM<br/>
<strong>Saionji:</strong> Alright, see you then! :) </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this fic #3 on my mission to construct my own very complicated utena au (i guess? i mean its the same universe, just 6 years later and in the city and they like, have lives and stuff?)</p><p>also, things i will delve into later:<br/>- saionji does not go to the same gym he works at purely because he hates almost all of his coworkers besides Utena and maybe a few other people who knows<br/>- wakaba's hair is auburn in my opinion and thus i am calling her a redhead because this is my home and i Can.<br/>- kozue's license is expired she can't even legally drive, miki just doesnt know how to say no<br/>- it has just come to my attention after years of being in this fandom that saionji is supposed to be his last name but. not here. in my house that is his first name kyouichi is his last name i am not taking any fucking questions on the matter<br/> </p><p>if y'all ever have any suggestions, by all means, please comment! i'm always down to hear ideas!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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